legal advice

First of all; if you are actually reading this to learn how to "beat your spouse" in child custody mediation, then you don't know what to expect. In California, whenever there is a child custody dispute before the Court, the parties must first attend a mediation session in an attempt to informally resolve their dispute and develop a parenting plan. Mediation is an informal process by which both parties meet with a mediator that tries to help the parties reach an agreement concerning their custody dispute.
Good Reasons to Mediate
1. Mediation is required when there is any custody dispute There is commonly a custody or visitation dispute in cases of divorce involving children.
2. Mediation can help you make a parenting plan that's in the best interest of your children.
3. Mediation can help you make a parenting plan that lets your children spend time with both parents.
4. Mediation can help you learn ways to deal with anger or resentment.
5. Mediation can save you attorney's fees
Our office and the California judicial system encourage a cooperative approach in settling marital disputes Both parties can save the cost of an attorney court appearance by agreeing to a reasonable custody and visitation schedule
Bad Reasons to Mediate
1. To explain to the mediator that your wife/husband is a jerk
The focus of a mediation is what is best for the child and that should be your focus during the mediation This might signal to the mediator that the true motivation of this dispute is to punish/retaliate against your spouse
2. To seek marital counseling
Again, the focus of a mediation is to do what is best for the child Who Are the Mediators
A mediator:
Has a master's degree in counseling, social work, or a related field;
Also has at least 2 years of experience working in mental health;
Knows how the family court system works; and
May also have information about community services that might be helpful to you. What Mediators do
A mediator meets with both parents and helps them try to agree on a plan that is best for their child. The mediator's job is to:
Listen to both of you.
Be neutral.
Help you look at different options.
Help you decide when the child will be with each parent.
Help you decide how future decisions about your child will be made.
Help you consider how best to protect your child's safety and welfare.
Support you.
Make recommendations to the judge. In some counties, if you and the other parent can't agree on a parenting plan through mediation, the mediator is asked to give the court a written recommendation. It will contain the mediator's opinion about what parenting arrangement will be in your child's best interest.
The Parenting Plan
The ultimate goal of mediation is to come up with a parenting plan that is agreed to by both parents and in the best interests of the child. Your parenting plan (also called a "custody and visitation agreement") is a legal document. It is also very personalized. You need to make a plan that is in the best interest of your child. Some suggestions:
Consider your child's age, personality, experiences, and ability. Every child is different. Adjust your plan to your child, NOT your child to your plan.
Give your child regular, consistent times with each of you for day-to-day care, overnights, activities, schoolwork, vacations, and holidays. Use a calendar to help you.
Give your plan enough detail so it's easy to understand and enforce. Give your child a sense of security and a reliable routine. Guidelines
Every mediator may have a different approach to the conference. However, you will be best served by following a few guidelines. Be polite, just like you would be at work.
Stay on the subject. Focus on doing what is best for your child.
Control your emotions, just like you would do at work.
Be clear and specific when you talk to the other parent. Write things down and keep businesslike records of important agreements.
Keep your promises. Your children need to be able to trust and rely on you. This is very important right now.
Watch the words you use when you talk about divorce.
Perspective
It would be foolish to think that all conflicts can be settled through mediation. Mediation requires agreement between both sides. And in situations where one or both parties have unrealistic expectations, that agreement may well be impossible. In these instances, parties should bring their case before the court, and that is why the option of going to trial is available.
However, don't let mediation fail because you are the side with unreasonable expectations. By this point you should have already consulted with an attorney that has objectively explained how the law applies to your particular case. If the mediator proposes an arrangement that is in line with your attorney's expectations, you should strongly consider it. By doing so you can save the time and expense of bringing the issue before the court. Additionally, these mediators are knowledgeable in family law and will probably offer something that is close to what the court would decide anyway